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In this episode, I explore why criticism from other people affects us so deeply—and why, from a Stoic perspective, it often shouldn't.
The episode begins with a chance encounter in a Starbucks that led me to reflect on something many of us experience: the discomfort of feeling judged. Whether it's criticism from a stranger, a colleague, or someone we care about, our first reaction is usually emotional. The Stoics understood this well. They knew that our initial emotional response isn't something we choose—but what we do next absolutely is.
Drawing on Epictetus, I explain the difference between our immediate, instinctive reaction and the rational faculty that follows it. The goal isn't to become emotionally numb. It's to become better at examining criticism before accepting it.
I offer a simple question that has helped me navigate criticism more effectively:
Is this pointing to something I genuinely did badly, or is it simply someone else's verdict on something I believe I handled well?
If the criticism is true, it becomes an opportunity for improvement. If it isn't, then there's no reason to surrender your peace of mind to another person's opinion.
The Stoic isn't indifferent to what others think. Rather, the Stoic refuses to allow unexamined opinions to outweigh honest self-knowledge.
The challenge isn't to stop caring about people. It's to stop auditioning for them.
Listening on Spotify? Leave a comment! I'd love to hear how you handle criticism and whether you've found it difficult to separate useful feedback from mere opinion.
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